guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
