Cold hands, warm shart.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my poor anus
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
