How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I would ride that face into the sunset
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
