Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You may now shotgun with the bride
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
