I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
