no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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