she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
