new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
