mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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