I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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