Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
