their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
