I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
they need to just BURY HIM!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
