I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
