i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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