these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
