dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
