yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
