I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
