I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
