hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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