I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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