ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
