are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
