i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
