Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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