Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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