drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
