You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
