i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
