didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
