I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
