reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
