isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just forgot I was standing up.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
