He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you have to choose: penises or morals?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
