2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
At least make sure they are 18
Why
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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