Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
