dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
