A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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