I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
