Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
