how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
