thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
