I love black thongs
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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