they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
