Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
