I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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