I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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