rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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