So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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