woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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