He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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